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I'm really just posting a journal right now because I'm cleaning out bits of my profile on here and have not found a quick way to remove my antiquated journal entries.

If it interests y'all to know, I'm more or less out of the Marine Corps now, and hopefully moving into another job before the end of September.

New Year's Resolution

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 20, 2011, 12:53 PM
For a while, I really just settled on not having a resolution this year. But now I've come up with one.

I've been a deviant for coming up on 3 years, and I've only 50 deviations, 51 with my recently posted "Plague Wind". With that in mind, this is my resolution:

100 deviations before 2012.

I don't think it's an unrealistic goal, or even a particular hard one, but I do see it as a personal challenge. So there it is. No later than 11:59 PM EST, December 31st, 2011 I resolve to have posted my 100th deviation.

Wish me luck, y'all.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Randomized Music Archive
  • Playing: ES3: Morrowind (One of the best games ever.)
  • Eating: Butterfinger
  • Drinking: Coke

Brief Musings of a Conservative Deviant

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 13, 2011, 9:40 PM
You know, I love deviantArt.

I love the very idea of deviantArt. If I could only choose one social internet network to contribute to (if my little bits of art even deserve to be called 'contributions'), it would be deviantArt.

That there is a spot in the mire that is the internet where artists and those simply interested in art might communicate, share, network, and sometimes even profit delights me to no end.

Sometimes I worry that one day I am going to express some personal ideal of me that will get me shunned by people I might otherwise consider friends. I am generally conservative when it comes to politics, and my views range from passive-aggressive to downright militaristic in the level of passion I invest in them.

That said, I find it fortunate that I am not overly well known in the deviantArt community, that if I ever did say something offensive, the worst that could really happen was that I was shunned by a very few. I would never really say anything to warrant my permanent ban from deviantArt.

I sometimes think it would get a lot off my chest if I just wrote out what I really think here... and maybe it would. I am not out to get anyone though, and spitting my poisonous anger out into text would probably make it look as if I am. Even so, I would be less sinister than some people or groups on dA, but I continuously tell myself that it is better to live and let live, that my fighting spirit, the warrior formed from my passions, is better left to fight for those things that really matter. Like a caged animal though, it gets restless. I have no need to fight for my life or those that I love. I am not wrestling with some tyrant to declare my freedom. And so I find myself getting aggressive sometimes, wanting to pick a fight for the sake of battling. I am not a violent or evil man, I have no wish to cause harm or distress on the undeserving... perhaps I am looking more for a spar than a lethal duel?

In any case, I know this rambling must seem without any real point, dear Reader, and in large you are correct. I suppose I am just expressing myself, even if poorly.

Treeline: by resurgere

More of these...

Journal Entry: Mon Jan 3, 2011, 11:44 AM
Stolen from :iconicestormwolf:

1] Are you bi?
No

[2] Where was your facebook profile picture taken?
At work

[3] What is your middle name?
Seth

[4] Do you have a crush?
Heh, don't need one, I've got :iconkri2120:

[5] Does your crush like you back?
if you mean Kri, then I sure hope so

[6] What is your current mood?
A bit tired

[7] What are you looking forward to?
Getting home

[8] What makes you happy?
Drawing, gaming, :iconkri2120:, roleplaying, good memories, hot water, quiet

[9] Look at a poster in your room, who's on it?
I'm not in my room...

[10] What are you not looking forward to?
Work back in the states, work being code for bullshit.

[11] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
An eagle, or a wolf... maybe a very large lizard if I was feeling lazy.

[12] Have you ever had a near death experience?
Only in the most remote sense

[13] What was the last phone conversation you had?
Talked to my mom on Christmas

[14] The song stuck in your head?
99 Red Balloons

[15] What is your desktop background?
Cycling bits of space-related art from dA

[16] What are you wearing?
Cammies

[17] When was the last time you cried?
Shit, I don't even remember.

[18] Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
No

[19] If you could have a super power what would it be?
Telekinesis.

[20] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Face, particularly eyes.

[21] What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Chai Latte

[22] What's your biggest secret?
If I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?

[23] Who makes you the happiest?
:iconkri2120:

[24] Who makes you the most depressed?
Society

[25] Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Not really anymore.

[26] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Mini Reese's and Coke.

[28] What's your favorite smell?
Yankee Candle Midsummer Night and Black Seude cologne are both favorites.

[29] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Self-determined.

[30] When was the last time you had a hug?
I don't even remember, sometime before I deployed.

[31] What do you want most in life?
To have a family to love and care for. To be self-reliant.

[32] What are you thinking about right now?
Blaaaaaaahhhh......

[33] What should you be doing?
Nothing in particular, apparently.

[34] What's your favorite candy?
Swedish Fish

[35] How often do you laugh?
Enough to keep me sane.

[36] Do you like working in the yard?
Overall, yes

[37] What are you doing this week?
Work, if it can be called that. Hitting the gym.

[38] Do you act differently around your crush/significant other?
Nope, it is paramount that I am myself around her.

[39] Who was the last person to make you cry?
I don't know

[40] Did you lie at all during this survey?
If I did, you wouldn't know, would you?

Treeline: by resurgere

Winter Reflection

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 24, 2010, 8:35 AM
As Christmas comes upon the world once again, and heralds the close to another year, I am glad to say that I willingly pause to count my blessings, reflect on my past, and imagine my future. I have a network of friends and family that, while not as large as some people claim to have, is so supportive that I look at the challenges and endeavors I must undertake and feel that I cannot truly fail.

My family, while not always close in distance or wholly aware of what's going on in my life, is unconditionally loving, and have all been there for me my whole life. I have a mother who loves, supports, and worries for me as only a mother could. I have a wonderful stepmother who willingly accepted me into her life as I did her. She has been their as a friend, confidant, and guide more times than I could count.

I have a father from whom I have inherited much and learned more. In their father, many have only that. I have a father, a brother, and a friend all in the same man. I have two sisters who have shown me all the love a sibling can, and have tolerated my protective instinct.

I have a fiancee who accepts me as the man I am: flawed, stubborn, and sometimes even short-sighted. The love she has expressed for me is boundless, and I look forward to calling her my wife, and traveling life's long road hand in hand with her. I have two close friends who have been like brothers to me since High School: Michael and Robert.

I have yet another confidant in my dear friend Katy, who has always been willing to let me talk her ear off for a while when I'm around. She and I do not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but our friendship is still strong, and I have a trust her and love her like a sister.

I am a United States Marine, and thus have more people that I know I can rely on than most of the world. Becoming a Marine gave me something that nobody can ever take away. Nothing can ever break me from that title and the infinite pride that accompanies it. I took the path less traveled, and that has made all the difference.

I was gifted, through a combination of genes, good parenting, and God's good grace, with a mind that can take in the world and process it critically. I have the comfort of laying my head down to sleep and knowing I am not one of society's "sheep". I am thankful to know that I can be self-reliant, and have realized how my priorities have developed.

The world is a beautiful thing, but it is uncertain. Despite whatever grand dreams I may have had in my school days, I look at my life now and realize that there is nothing that could make me happier than providing for a family I love. I have realized that I can think of no nobler cause.

I cannot change or 'fix' the world, and I have no desire to take away the individual's chance to change or 'fix' himself. A family though, my own family, something I can protect, nurture, and love seems to be the greatest accomplishment I could make for myself.
My blessings are countless more than what I've listed here, and I hope you will forgive the long-winded nature of this musing. I do hope that all of you have a most Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year, and might even be so bold as to suggest that you remember your own blessings. Have an excellent holiday, my friends.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Trans-Siberian Orchestra
  • Eating: A sandwich
  • Drinking: Dr Pepper

Tell me...

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 21, 2010, 12:33 PM
...that I am a decent man, for I know I am just a man. Perfection is not my province, because my greatness lies in my ability to overcome imperfection. I am given to anger, to jealousy, to desire, and sometimes these things are more than just thought. I am given to question every thing in life, including God, because God gave me the gift of will, and the ability to be so inquisitive, the ability to presume to question God. Of each of your deadly sins have I partaken. I've wielded Wrath as a sword. I've let Pride shield me from Truth. I have let the mantle of Sloth burden my shoulder, and have set my gaze upon objects of Envy and Lust. I have lied to those I love, sometimes for their good, more often for my own. I sometimes wonder if the multitude of sins of which I am guilty do not outweigh the good I've done, and were I to see myself in God's eyes, could I be as forgiving?
I would never ask to be free of the burden of conscience, and when I look at society as it crumbles to immoral comfort, I ask if they have not done this. Yet to compare myself to the immoral and use the example to define myself as good is again shielding myself from acknowledging my own flaws and mistakes.
I can not always convince myself that I am a truly good man, as I would like to be. So I plead with you to tell me, with honesty and conviction that you truly believe I am decent, that you see me strive to be as a good man should be. If you cannot do this, then refrain from saying a comforting lie, but tell me what is in your heart.

Treeline: by resurgere

Christmas Present

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 20, 2010, 2:41 PM
:iconkri2120: got me a tablet for Christmas, which I've already opened and put to use, far from home as I am. It is pretty much the coolest toy I've ever gotten. Expect to see some stuff from me created via tablet.

Treeline: by resurgere

One of you

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 15, 2010, 5:12 AM
Should do one of those ridiculous survey things with all the random questions, and put it on your journal page so I can do it. I haven't seen on in a while, and have this pathetic itch to do one, but am far too lazy to go looking for one myself, or worse, make one.

Just a suggestion.

:iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz::iconikilleditplz:

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Rush, TSO, Metallica, Pink Floyd
  • Playing: Fallout New Vegas
  • Drinking: Chai Smoothie

New Vegas

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 11, 2010, 12:52 PM
So, I figured I'd post a journal because I haven't in a wall. First off...

:iconfrageplz: Why should I, as a consumer of a single player game, have to have internet connection to activate and be able to play said game? I understand that it's an anti-piracy measure. But it's infuriating.

:iconbadassplz: I've been developing my sci-fi bounty hunter Montgomery a good deal, between rping him and general development. Also, he's probably going to be the basis for my character in Fallout: New Vegas.

:iconikilleditplz: I'm on something of a testosterone/destruction high, and have been for days now. I have this intriguing desire to just shoot things and blow them up. Probably why Monty has enjoyed so much of my attention of late.

Also, I like plz faces. Have a great day, everyone!

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Rush, TSO, Metallica, Pink Floyd
  • Drinking: Dr Pepper (amazing)

AUGH!!!

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 27, 2010, 4:40 AM
I have no idea what to get ANYONE for Christmas! Crap!

In other news, I plan on drawing a bit in the next few days, expect to see something.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Rush, TSO
  • Playing: Mass Effect 2
  • Eating: Mess hall food
  • Drinking: Coke

Once More

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 23, 2010, 10:45 PM
Through the travail of the ages
Midst the pomp and toil of war
Have I fought and strove and perished
Countless times upon this star

So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises
Many names, but always me

So forever in the future
Shall I battle as of yore
Dying to be born a fighter
But to die again once more
   -General George S. Patton

   General Patton, for those many who may not know, held a strong belief in spiritual reincarnation. He attributed a large degree of his skill as a military leader to the fact that he had been a warrior in many lives past.

   As anyone who follows me may have noticed, I posted a drawing up for the first time in for-freakin'-ever. Hopefully I'll get some more drawn in the future, as I found it utterly refreshing to be drawing something once again.
   I might start taking requests again, if anyone properly inspires me.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Rush, TSO
  • Playing: Civilization 4, Pokemon
  • Eating: Mess hall food
  • Drinking: Coke

Oorah!

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 9, 2010, 8:50 PM
  • Watching: Marine Movies, naturally.
Should the Army and the Navy ever look on Heaven's scenes,
They will find its gates are guarded by UNITED STATES MARINES.

235 years of kicking ass and taking names, it is the birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Of course, this motivates me like little else possibly can. If a Marine can't show his pride EVERY day of his or her existence as a Marine, they had damn well better show it this day.

Semper Fidelis, and Happy Birthday to the Corps!

Treeline: by resurgere

I'm still alive...

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 5, 2010, 10:22 PM
Just don't expect to hear from me or see any art from me in the immediate future. Too much going on with work and such. Sorry.

Seth

Treeline: by resurgere

A warrior may choose peace...

Journal Entry: Mon Sep 6, 2010, 8:33 PM
  • Listening to: My iPhone/Pod
  • Reading: Network Troubleshooting stuff.
  • Playing: Mass Effect 2
  • Eating: Whatever they serve
  • Drinking: Water, mostly
...but as with every choice there is consequence. The consequence of abandoning duty for longing of a more comfortable peace. But peace at the cost of duty is a false peace, especially for this one. When my road has reached its end, knowing that duty stands fulfilled will make the reality of peace so much more to appreciate.

I am not yet as far as I will be, but I hear the comforts of my life calling to me from back along the path. The warmth of a sweet embrace, the sound of her whispering voice pull at my heart, and my road has just begun. I cannot falter though, I can't be allowed to falter. I CAN NOT LET LONGING AND DESIRE CRIPPLE ME! This path, I chose. And thus I must follow the road with constant diligence, even when the previously unseen turns come to a corner, and I find myself following a new direction.

That there are those who do not walk my path, and presume to look upon it with scorn, I do hold it against you. I am not transcendant, I am no saint or martyr. When you spit upon the path I walk, I am filled with human anger, I want to cast you down for your mockery of my duty, of my SACRIFICE. Wrath and pride flow through my veins as readily as my blood, and to try to cut me with words it to make that wrath and pride flow in life-blood's place. Judge me before you have walked this path, and you are more the fool.

I am human, and humans are given to flaws and virtues. I am weak, I am mighty. I am wise, I am blind. I bear anger in my heart only slightly less often then I bear kindness and love. The threat of Hell's fire does not persuade me to strive to be more than I am, a personal sense of virtue, however does.

A warrior may choose peace...




...all others are condemned to it.

Treeline: by resurgere

I'm on a boat.

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 25, 2010, 6:28 PM
  • Listening to: My thoughts
  • Playing: Morrowind or Mass Effect
  • Eating: Nothing, I'm stuffed
  • Drinking: Sam Adams Cherry Wheat (yes, I drink beer)
Fellow deviants, I am here to inform you of my pending departure. I am going on a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) out to countries all about the Mediterranean Sea and generally wherever we are needed. As I'll be on a boat with A) crappy internet, B) probably stupid blockers, and C) no accessible scanner, you can trust that my activity on dA will be as sparse as it has been for what seems like forever now.

On that note, it's not that I've not drawn anything at all in the past for-freaking-ever, but I have either been too lazy or lacking in the resources to put it up. I'll try to be more active when I get back, and perhaps :iconkri2120: can kick me in the ribs until I am.

I love y'all. Srsly.

"A warrior may choose peace. All others are condemned to it."

Treeline: by resurgere

I apparently got tagged.

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 5, 2010, 5:23 PM
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. 'Ski
2. Seth
3. Okami

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. Hrafn2112
2. Wrathful Benevolence
3. Magnus Ulfsson

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. Coughed
2. Drank Orange Juice
3. Turned on Music

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My loyalty
2. My over-the-top kind of humor
3. My understanding of the virtue in discretion

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My lack of self-confidence
2. My temper
3. My tendency to worry

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
1. Polish
2. German
3. -shrug-

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
1. Heights.
2. The thought of not having a purpose.
3. Being unable to die, but caught in a state where I cannot truly live.


THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Glasses
2. Shirt
3. Watch


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food?
2. Water?
3. Air?

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
1. What worth
2. is there in
3. material items?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
1. Rush
2. Seether
3. Metallica

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. Love
2. Purpose
3. Humor


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Fade to Black - Metallica
2. Resist - Rush
3. Faithfully - Journey

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Foreign food
2. Not getting sea-sick
3. Having enough focus on my Morrowind character to not end up starting over... again.

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
1. Breaking up with her... twice.
2. Having to put my duty before all else (sometimes)
3. Not being better at... well, everything.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love
2. Respect
3. Understanding

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
1. My Service.
2. All else
3. is just words.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
1. I love her.
2. I am a warrior.
3. I don't care.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Eyes
2. Long Hair
3. >.>;

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Kindness
2. Confidence
3. Patience

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Abide injustice
2. Stop loving her
3. Not let things get to me

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
1. Time
2. More people I didn't have to wear a mask around
3. Those people being more than a picture on Facebook

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock (It's going to have 2112 on it)
2. Some kind of musical talent
3. A .45 Magnum

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
1. My father
2. My philosophy
3. My love for her

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Drawing
2. Reading
3. Vidjyo Gamez

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Escape to wherever.
2. Draw better than I'm currently able
3. Smack someone who tells me I'll only get better by practicing, like I don't already know that.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Data Network Administrator
2. Software Designer
3. Government Contractor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
1. Assuming Holiday means Vacation: Toronto
2. Somewhere in the mountains
3. Dunno

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
1. Spike Spiegel
2. Wolverine
3. Rurouni Kenshin

THREE BOY'S NAMES:
1. (Just any three? It doesn't say favorites, I guess)Logan
2. Magnus
3. Alexander

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
1. Samantha
2. Yvonne
3. Isabelle


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Have children
2. Face all life has to offer with her
3. Make something of myself

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Metallica
  • Playing: Soul Calibur 4
  • Eating: Candied Ginger
  • Drinking: Orange Juice

Terrible correspondence

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 31, 2010, 9:03 PM
Alright, I know I must seem all but entirely inactive on dA these days, but I promise that is not the case. I've been busy with this thing or that for the last few months, and I really REALLY do plan to get back to being more active on here... eventually.

I just don't want y'all to think I'm dead or something.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Enya
  • Playing: Soul Calibur 4
  • Eating: Candied Ginger
  • Drinking: Dr Pepper

A new chapter in life...

Journal Entry: Mon May 31, 2010, 3:55 PM
Well, my fellow deviants, you may be interested to know that I have undertaken an epic journey in my life.

Around 12:30 PM, May 30th, in the middle of the mall in Wilmington, NC, I got down on bended knee and asked :iconkri2120: if she would be willing to face the rest of our lives side by side with me.

She said yes.

And now I stand at the cusp of one part of my life, heading off into another. I am not yet a married man, but I have chosen the companion with whom I will traverse life's many paths. I honestly couldn't be happier.

More dA related news to come later.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Instrumental Music
  • Playing: LotRO, Morrowind
  • Eating: Taco Salad
  • Drinking: Coke

Holy cow, he still does that?

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 28, 2010, 5:22 PM
That's right, everyone. My muse is attacking me with massive amounts of ideas, so much so that I have to limit myself. Regardless: this means I'm getting back to drawing and posting and all that. Look for my first piece to come up soonish. I need to figure out if I can find the software to install my scanner :P. In any case, my current list of projects are as follows:

A demon asteroid thing.
An angel/eidelon of Fire
An angel/eidelon of Wind
An angel/eidelon of Ice
An angel/eidelon of the Stars.

I may also start taking requests, if y'all have any. Just let me know if there's something you'd like to see, and I'll gladly consider it.

Have fun, guys.

Treeline: by resurgere
  • Listening to: Time and Space - A Tribute to Yasunori Mitsuda
  • Playing: FF Tactics, Disgaea, Children of Mana
  • Eating: Tuna Salad
  • Drinking: Dr Pepper

The secret side of me...

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 8, 2010, 4:36 PM
  • Listening to: Guess,
  • Playing: LotRO, Pokemon SS
  • Drinking: Some generic soda
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

("Monster" by Skillet)

No, I'm really not in a bad mood. Just aggressive.

Treeline: by resurgere